One would want to be a Gnostic

A friday evening, what else to do but go to Shortys for five dollar pitchers with a friend. Nick was the friend and Blue Moon was in the pitcher. So as I am sitting at the bar I ask the fine gentleman next to me for the ash tray next to him, he turns to me with an electric smile and claims that this one is his and that I should ask the bartender for one. Alright, I am alittle pissed, but hey its a local and you don't come between them and their bar rituals. So as the man gets up to take a piss he slides me the ash tray. Ohh well I guess he feels bad, I don't blame him. He comes back and sits down on the bar stool and proceeds to ask me if I am a student of the University up there. I claim my rightous duty and we start talking.

With a full beard, dirty blonde hair stuff under a Cubs cap, Tom, starts off the conversation with a usual "Do you know what time the game is on?" I, of course, do not know what "game" he is refering to and say that I have stopped watching baseball after the Phils lost. So he further prods and asks if I am from around the Philadelphia area and it just so happens that his son lives around there and he is very familiar with it. I am intrigued as he asks me what I want to do with my life and what I am studying so we both try to keep the conversation going as he doesn't have anyone else to talk to. It just so happens that Tom is a professor of literature at Alvernia college and comes to Shortys on various occasions, he says he is known as a prophet as I later would find out. So as we talked about college life, feminism, the Bush (as I am reluctant to capitalize that last name, I see no need for the praise) administration, literature and life in general I come to realize that this long haired traveler and I had more than one thing in common. He brings out a piece of paper with some figures scribbled on it and says he had his buddy find out how much the earth weighed. Pretty interesting stuff, I think there were about eighteen or so zeros in the number of tons and most of it is due to gravity. Another interesting turning point of the conversation was the fact that he taught about the Gnostic gospels in one of his classes. These Gnostics, known as "the knowers" came post crucifiction and drew from the gospels that actually comprise The Bible. I found it very interesting that one follower, Thomas, claimed Jesus does not want you to do anything that you hate, or don't want to do... in so many words. I think that this quote will stay with me for the rest of my life.

One more topic of noteriety was money. Tom hates money. He has a twenty set on the bar but that is only for the bartender to break up when Tom needs a new drink so there does not have to be too much human interaction between Tom getting his drink and Tom adding to his buzz. Tom pulls out four single dollar bills that are defaced with elaborate patterns and colors. He then points out that it is a federal offense to deface a federal reserve note because in essence we do not own our money, the government does. So Tom tells me a story about when his child was a mere two years old. Tom is divorced so when he sees his child, Ethan, he usually takes him on road trips to relatives houses. One time when Ethan was at that ripe old age of two, Tom asked him what he thought that money was. Tom gave Ethan his wallet and Ethan procceded to take out a dollar bill and hand it to his father. Tom then started to crumble up the dollar, roll down the window and tossed it out. Ethan erupted in laughter, by Tom's account. Two years later, Ethan in the child seat in the back at the age of four, Tom asks him again what Ethan thought that money was. He handed him his wallet and Ethan, with an air of reluctance, handed Tom a single dollar bill. As Tom started crumbling up the dollar Ethan started to cry and in his distress pleaded with his father not to throw the dollar bill out the window but instead give it to him. This is an example of how much capitalism is instilled in us, claims Tom. I really have to agree with him. Ethan had no schooling or education on the value of money but through the television and events happening around him he some how knew the power of money. Pretty amazing if you ask me.

All in all I say it was a pretty good happy hour. After I conversed with Tom, the prophet, I played a little pool with my good friend Nick and then we went to Mamas. In closing I would like to congratulate Al Gore on winning the Nobel Peace Prize... Gore '08?.. I'm voting.